Cherish the Moments

For the past fourteen years Carolyn and Ted have been the best of neighbors and friends.  From the start we would chat outside our doors and catch up on family happenings.  She would vent and then I vented back and by the time we stopped we both felt better.  It never solved the problems but we can’t solve their woes anyway but talking about it helped.  She loved my sense of humor and talk about my job when I was working and then helping me with my start of COPD and understanding why my breathing was so shallow.  She had years in the Medical field and earlier in her career was a nurse and so I used her knowledge to guide me many a time.  A few years ago when I had pneumonia I could not find the right piece to connect my nebulizer and the more I tried the coughing spasms increased.  I called on the phone and within minutes she was at my door with her calm way and had my nebulizer connected just like that.  She stayed with me for a while to be sure I was comfortable and reassured me she was right next door if I needed her again.  I guess the beauty of this relationship with both Ted and Carolyn has been to listen and help and remember each other for the holidays and birthdays.  We never did sit over coffee talking about everybody or anybody and besides that was never my style.

Early in March Carolyn developed a bad case of  bronchitis that had hung for three weeks and last Sunday was the first time I saw her as I was leaving to go to a planed activity.  She said she was feeling better and that it seemed like forever that she had been sick.  I left and didn’t return till hours later and when I didn’t see their car, I just assumed they were out visiting family.  Sadly she had suffered a heart attack moments after I left and by the time the sun came up Monday morning Carolyn was with the angels.  I could not believe her daughter telling me that her mother wasn’t coming out of the hospital that she had passed away earlier.  On Thursday I went to pay my respects at the funeral home and hug her wonderful sons and daughters and of course Ted who is so distraught and lost.  How does one face this loss after being married for 50 plus years and trying to believe what has happened?

For me personally, I feel the loss of a special person in my life and my security system,too.  Having her next door gave me that everything will be fine feeling.  As I watered her plants today, I found myself telling her I will keep them blooming for you.

Today, I made a big pot of chicken soup with quinoa, squash, celery and carrots for the family to have in their freezer.  Tomorrow I will bake a cake and some brownies and now I will shed a few more tears as I remember my times with Carolyn.

Current Mood:Sad emoticon Sad