Fantastic Year

My New Grand-daughter Joava born 6-13 at 11 11 5 6 19 in2013 has been a year of ups and downs along with a better understanding of life and how to deal with all the drama and finally learn to let go.  This has been an eye-opener and stress reliever for my tortured soul as I have tried to please and change everyone I love.  Now, I have learned they have to change themselves and it is not my job but to love them in spite of what I don’t like.  I also found that pleasing myself is easy as I certainly put in enough years as a single parent raising and loving my three sons to have earned this reward.  In the middle of the year (June to be exact) a little bundle of joy appeared and Joava is her name.  She is the darling baby girl to my son Joe and his wife Chanipa and she makes number 10 for me as a grand-mother.  How wonderful this is as I have the privilege of hugging another new-born and young one.My other little sweetheart Mia that lives in Brooklyn has captured my heart and gives me such wonderful joy when we are on Skype.  By far she is the smartest cutest two and half-year old.  We had so much fun the five days I spent with her Thanksgiving week along with my son and other family members.

When I was very young I just wanted to be 18 so I could conquer the world and be my boss.  But love interfered and I married instead and so my conquering days were on hold,  Fast forward to 77 years of age with sons at fifty-five, fifty and forty plus years, and ” I am more than ready to say it has been a wonderful journey and I am grateful to have had the joy of motherhood.”   The love of my sons along with the respect could fill volumes and my heart overflows with gratitude.  My goal is to spend 2014 with friends at Yoga stretching and keeping our bodies flexible and strong along with peace of mind.

To spend more time with my sons and families and to just enjoy Life!

Happy New Year everyone near and far!

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Smiles and Tears

My Thanksgiving trip turned out to be the best in more ways than one.  First off my son picked me up at the airport and we headed back through the city to his home.  It was wonderful scenery for me seeing the tall buildings and Brooklyn Bridge being I am a former New Yorker.  There is something magical about New York City and I do miss its liveliness.  We stopped for a few groceries and then on to my hotel to check in and then off to Darrin’s home.   The cutest little girl with the prettiest smile greeted me from a distance and I knew Mia and I would be having some hugs later on.  Her Grand-mom Millie brought her some pretty little tops, coloring books and crayons that she welcomed with her little pudgy hands as she said thank you Grandma Millie.  Did my heart melt?  You bet!  We relaxed and caught up a little on my trip and the plans for the next few days.  My son and his wife Maria would be busy preparing the Thanksgiving feast with fresh apple pie, cranberry sauce, .Julienne carrots and a myriad of other goodies to go with the turkey dinner.

My four grown grand-children were coming along with my daughter-in law. two great grand-children and Desiree’s husband Brian.  Myself, Darrin Maria and Mia would be enjoying this wonderful day together.   It turned out to be a spectacular day with great weather for the travelers and so many hugs and kisses and awesome conversations and chit chats with our loved ones.  I tell you this Mom was so proud of her family and thankful for all that I had.  Life was good!

The next day being Friday my brother and his wife and my sister and husband joined us for a post holiday dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant named Marco Polo.  I was once again a princess sipping my glass of Zinfandel and chatting with my family.  I didn’t realize how much I missed them and it brought happiness once again showing in my face with a glorious smile.  We had dessert back at Darrin’s home where little Mia charmed everyone with her cuteness.  She is so bright for her age and well-behaved and Grand-Mom loves her to pieces.  (I miss her now).   Another tearful good-bye for a while with plans to get together soon.  But we all know how that goes. ( It just doesn’t seem to happen as we age)  who can’t or won’t fly South but I can fly North.  Yet, it is okay as long as I can do it, I will!

Seeing my family all together is a present to me reliving each moment every day.

On Saturday we took a long drive out to the Island along with some Turkey leftovers for my sister and husband.   Gloria is under the doctor’s care with a serious condition and Darrin my thoughtful son wanted me to see her and he in turn wanted to visit his aunt and for Gloria to enjoy my grand-daughter Mia.  We had a lovely time and then headed home. Tomorrow I would be headed back to my home with my heart filled with happiness and my body tingling from all the love and kisses I received.  For sure this has been loads of smiles and a minimum of happy tears.

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Flying High

It’s been too long since I spent Thanksgiving day with my family and it isn’t the same when you aren’t in some of their company.  Living in a different state doesn’t help especially that I don’t handle the cold well any more.  My breathing problems escalate and I feel like a burden to my sons but this year my heart begged me to at least try to and maybe the weather will be bearable.  I know once I see my wonderful son and his family I will feel the love I have missed.

Within this short visit my son Terry will be driving in to see me and so will my sister and brother with their respective spouses.  So at least I will see some of my family.  If it weren’t for Black Friday the rest of my  family would probably be here too, but I am thankful for the ones that can make it.

In past years  I hosted the feast on Thanksgiving and I still miss the hustle and bustle of getting it all together.  If I may pat myself on the back, I did do a great job with the cooking and serving.  My nieces always helped with the clean up and hand washing of the dishes. Gee, those were the days and I sure do miss them.  But now I get to enjoy my son preparing a feast along with his wife for me and fourteen others.  It is going to be a fun time and I am so very excited.  Happy Thanksgiving day to all of you.

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I am Amazed

Even at this stage of my life I still find my self upset and hurt that the ones you hold dear to your heart aren’t the first ones to reach out with a phone call a letter or if possible a visit.  Once you have told them of your impending tests or rules with the dates how do they not remember?  I have always managed to remember on my own but still notate it on my calendar.  Today, with all the fancy technology they use (maybe there isn’t a reminder app) to prompt them.  Yet,  I hear it time and again from others how we are forgotten, but remembered quickly if we pretend to forget them.  Because, I don’t believe a parent could ever forget that their child (although grown up) might need a pat on the back or some old-fashioned medical or other tips to help them through their colds, problems,, etc.  We do have big shoulders and warm hearts.

How is it that we have progressed to this lack of communication and indifference to not remember our loved ones near and far? Is it the age of selfishness or just plain I don’t care or I don’t have the time?  Have we forgotten how to be loving and caring 365 days a year and not only be remembered by casual friends?   If in fact this is the way it will continue, I will no longer be amazed but dismayed and heartbroken.

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Feeling Sad

A few months ago my sweet sister told me of her medical diagnosis that tore at my heart-strings. Just hearing the word Cancer is frightening unto itself but having a family member with it is devastating for all.  I waited until she finished her chemo and radiation treatments with the hope the tumor would shrink.  If it did, they would wait two or so months (recheck with an MRI) and then be able to remove it surgically.  And so in early August I flew up to see her and to celebrate her upcoming birthday. Gloria was so happy and appreciative of my visit and I in turn admired her courage and positive attitude.  I made sure to tell her I sure didn’t think I would be handling it as well if it were happening to me. What I have learned is that when I hear bad news, my mind goes into a freeze mode and will sometimes take me days to sort through what I heard and then react.  There are times I just sit and cry over what has happened but I can never do that when I first hear it.  And so last week Gloria had her MRI to check if the tumor had shrunk and then have her appointment this week with her Surgeon for the outcome.  I waited for her call and last evening she told me that the tumor did not shrink enough to allow surgery. Her options were to leave it alone and do nothing and then re-check it in a few months or have a colostomy performed in a few weeks.  She went on to tell me that she has decided to go with this option and that she asked the doctor, if she could pick the color of the bag. The doctor told her that with her sense of humor, she will have a good outcome.

As for me Gloria I wish I could hug you, as my eyes fill with tears.  I just love your awesome attitude and how you are handling it all is so admirable.  You are very courageous and brave and I wish you only the best of outcomes.

Your four wonderful children will be by your side along with Tommy my sweet brother-in-law to get you through the rough patches.  And you most definitely have my love and prayers every step of the way along with my families best wishes.  I am excited to say that I just found some neat waist tie pajamas with neat tops for you to wear after your procedure and they just happen to come in your favorite colors that I hope will brighten your day when you receive them.

I love you Sis!